My experience through my work is that many are typically wealthy rather than poor. Their lack of conscience and their impulsiveness can allow them to take risks others would not. They can also feed of other’s wealth to bolster their low self esteem.
It is my experience that some can have ADHD/Asperger type traits that can also make them hyperfocused and impulsive which contributes to their success. Though some just feed off others.
They are often not interested in social activities and can be lonely so work or manipulation is often a welcome escape. Their focus on this often leads to wealth at the expense of their emotional growth and family relationships.
If these Asperger and ADHD traits had shown up in the school environment there is a risk they would have been bullied , (see Mercury news Anthony Hopkins story only diagnosed at aged 77, bullied in school, buried himself in his career, no relationship with his daughter, a grump, I am not saying he is a narcissist but a lost person and didn't know why).
Could this be the case for many narcissists? Are they struggling with an undiagnosed neurodifference and do not know? Does this lead to them being bullied and lonely from an early age? Does this then cause them to become the bully in later life to protect themselves? Do they then learn to bury themselves in their work for safety gaining wealth (or focusing on benefitting from someone elses wealth) to prove to those that abused them that they could make something of their lives? It has been my experience in my work that yes this can be the case.
However sadly their ‘success’ is achieved through feelings of anger and mistrust and without really understanding the core of their struggles. Sir Anthony Hopkins said it was life changing for him to finally understand his Aspergers at 77.
Perhaps if educational systems identified and accommodated neurodifference in a healthy way at an early school age, much pain could be avoided. And if we as a society embraced difference and did not expect everyone to be neurotypical maybe there would be less pain and competition in the world.
However and sadly if the person has become narcissistic and toxic in behaviour, we must protect ourselves from them or we are at risk of our selfhood being destroyed too.
For more information about the subjects covered in this blog, contact Margaret Parkes - phone: 086 832 0422 email: mparkestherapy@gmail.com
Comments