Unfortunately I do see an overlap in a small amount of the ADHD and sometimes Autistic neurodivergent population and NPD. There are 4 types of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and in my work I have encountered partners who have endured all four with the different neurodivergent and narcissistic people.
There are many similarities the first regarding the ADHD'r where money can be a driver to the point of addiction, they hyperfocus on this and forget about key relationships particularly if working for themselves (as many are intelligent, creative and willing to take risks) they are often very successful at setting up businesses and prefer to work for themselves. This gives them power and control and general attention which this type of neurodivergent and the narcissist need. Though sadly both can use this financial power to maniputate and control their partners. I have found both types can be financially mean if the relationship breaks down due to their behaviour.
In both the neurodivergent and narcissistic type personality this appears to happen when children come on the scene and they are no longer the centre of the partners attention, it can also get worse when she breast feeds or if she asserts herself and exposes his/her unacceptable behaviour to the world, which she had to do for her own protection. It has been my experience the ADHD"r who goes off track which happens regularly because they are poor self managers and have poor focus (on what doesn't interest them) they cover up by lying and gaslighting the person who finds them out, the narcissist engages in similar behaviour.
They also make promises which they don”t keep because of this poor self management and a lack of conscience and consideration for another. They are also lie without cons ience. Their area of hyperfocus often gets them attention in the form of success in their area of interest not unlike like the narcissist, they let key relationships down and risk losing them. I have often wondered do narcissists have and an undiagnosed ADHD or Autistic start and this then lead to a harsh social experience? Did this cause them to become more manipulative to protect themselves?
For more information about the subjects covered in this blog, contact Margaret Parkes - phone: 086 832 0422 email: mparkestherapy@gmail.com