I will make this response short because it is not unlike other similar questions I have answered. I do wonder if this personality has undiagnosed ADD/ADHD traits which might make them appear narcissistic in behaviour. There can sometimes be an Asperger mix with an ADHD diagnosis.
When undiagnosed ADHD/ADD persists into adulthood for some hyperactivity can reduce and inattentiveness can increase leaving the adult with poor organisational and self management skills, and a tendency towards forgetfulness.
They also can have poor relational skills due to the trauma of struggling with feeling different from a young age.
They also can have a tendency to take over and interrupt conversations without understanding their impact on others. This can cause people to avoid them further causing damage to their self esteem and trust of people. This damage might cause them to become angry or defensive and feel unworthy. Unworthy enough to not care for themselves.
This personality if not diagnosed can struggle in school because of their poor organisational and focus skills which can also impact on self esteem and makes them feel different. It has been my experience though highly intelligent the educational system does not meet their needs as they are drawn to active and creative interests. This really needs to change.
They have less of an ability to carry out routine tasks, including self hygiene just as the young person with ADHD might. So they must be helped to develop these skills. However if a task is of interest to this personality they can be hyperfocused.
Perhaps this might explain your ex's predicament. Its very sad because many people go undiagnosed and many lives are ruined.
It's important we watch out for signs of similar patterns in the next generation and get them the help they need before history repeats itself again.
ADHD/ADD are the easiest differences to treat, change needs to happen to enable assessments and support for everyone at an early stage in life so that everyone gets a fair chance.
For more information about the subjects covered in this blog, contact Margaret Parkes - phone: 086 832 0422 email: mparkestherapy@gmail.com
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